Its true, we can hardly believe it ourselves. Our Wunderkinder deity Jordonos Magnificus of Americonia has transcended himherthemself above and away from the old University grounds where many of hisherthemselfs disciples came to know and love himherthemself with unquestioning faith and divine love and trust.
Jordonis was, for many of us here at the workhouse, the Oracal, the font of all knowledge and the ONE. Hisherthemselves power of intuitive understanding and all-knowing radiance was at times blinding to the unbeliever and at the same time life-art-love-affirming to those of us who followed in hisherthemselves mighty foot steps.
It is our understanding here that Jordonis has been drafted by Royal Appointment to an establishment that needs hisherthemselves guidance in straightening out the less devout. As we all know from previous Royal Appointments, mistakes can be made and noses put out of joint. Indeed some truly dreadful work has eminated from the Royal Appointment in the past, less we forget the hideosity that was Glynnoff Willy Amms ‘figurative work‘ of the past decades. Indeed it precisely because of such horrors committed against culture that Jordonis is now charged with putting right.
So, its a big Wunderkinder goodbye to our resident deity and it is with tears in out hearts that we bid Jordonis Magnificus a fond farewell.
Here at the workhouse we are having a little difficulty with the heating. In fact it has been so cold that we have had the costume department put together a winter collection for some of the Wunderkinder Micro-Porkers we keep in the bottom of our filing cabinets….
We just took delivery of some of our new Wunderkinder Overalls, called the ‘Over and Outs’ You can see Roger demonstrating which bits they go over and which bits are supposed to hang out.
Jolly good show Roger!
Now, here at the Workhouse we take respiratory illness very seriously. The university has embarked on a big drive to update all its LEV [local exhaust ventilators] so here at Wimbledon we dispatched our own team of researchers to see exactly what goes on when a lung is subjected to particulate abuse. Clearly the results are still coming in, we can say that our team has gone the extra mile to really drill down into the data and hopefully we will be able to publish some concrete statistics on exactly why so many dogs are taking up smoking these days.
As a few of you know the dean of the workhouse likes a little tipple at lunch time, after all, who doesn’t?. Concern was expressed however when it was felt the ice for his afternoon Gin & Tonic was becoming a tad too demanding to lift into his tumbler.
It can be clearly seen here being carried into his office by two ice-girls;
And finally, news has just come in of the winner of the ‘cleanest oven competition’, this years winner is our very own Stacey from the Wunderkinder Kanteen!
Sterling work Stacey and may we all have many a happy and hygienic pannini to come yet!
Oh, almost forgot, as one or two of you already know any stay at the workhouse is celebrated by a statutory tattoo, [as mentioned before, the Dean of Chelsea has USA tattooed the length of his manhood], well here is a pic of local lad and Wunderkinder all rounder Graham being tattooed by our very own in house resident tattoo artist Uncle Pete…
Petes work is exceptional, his hearing is less than adequate however and one ex employee who shall remain nameless for dignities sake got a right fright when [as a keen fisherman] he asked Pete for a pair of Pollocks to be tattooed across his back…….[Pete, i said Pollocks!!!]…… needless to say the individual in question rarely takes his shirt off in public anymore….