Good news, there is signs of the long awaited [lamented] technical upgrade here at the workhouse. Here you can see the elation in the students and staff as the good news is being circulated. Happy days Wunderkinder, happy days indeed.
It is with extreme gratitude that we took custody of this most excellent CCTV enclosure recently, really i can feel the wind of change blowing through the annals of technical delivery as i write this……
Its true, we can hardly believe it ourselves. Our Wunderkinder deity Jordonos Magnificus of Americonia has transcended himherthemself above and away from the old University grounds where many of hisherthemselfs disciples came to know and love himherthemself with unquestioning faith and divine love and trust.
Jordonis was, for many of us here at the workhouse, the Oracal, the font of all knowledge and the ONE. Hisherthemselves power of intuitive understanding and all-knowing radiance was at times blinding to the unbeliever and at the same time life-art-love-affirming to those of us who followed in hisherthemselves mighty foot steps.
It is our understanding here that Jordonis has been drafted by Royal Appointment to an establishment that needs hisherthemselves guidance in straightening out the less devout. As we all know from previous Royal Appointments, mistakes can be made and noses put out of joint. Indeed some truly dreadful work has eminated from the Royal Appointment in the past, less we forget the hideosity that was Glynnoff Willy Amms ‘figurative work‘ of the past decades. Indeed it precisely because of such horrors committed against culture that Jordonis is now charged with putting right.
So, its a big Wunderkinder goodbye to our resident deity and it is with tears in out hearts that we bid Jordonis Magnificus a fond farewell.
Here at the workhouse we are having a little difficulty with the heating. In fact it has been so cold that we have had the costume department put together a winter collection for some of the Wunderkinder Micro-Porkers we keep in the bottom of our filing cabinets….
We just took delivery of some of our new Wunderkinder Overalls, called the ‘Over and Outs’ You can see Roger demonstrating which bits they go over and which bits are supposed to hang out.
Jolly good show Roger!
Now, here at the Workhouse we take respiratory illness very seriously. The university has embarked on a big drive to update all its LEV [local exhaust ventilators] so here at Wimbledon we dispatched our own team of researchers to see exactly what goes on when a lung is subjected to particulate abuse. Clearly the results are still coming in, we can say that our team has gone the extra mile to really drill down into the data and hopefully we will be able to publish some concrete statistics on exactly why so many dogs are taking up smoking these days.
As a few of you know the dean of the workhouse likes a little tipple at lunch time, after all, who doesn’t?. Concern was expressed however when it was felt the ice for his afternoon Gin & Tonic was becoming a tad too demanding to lift into his tumbler.
It can be clearly seen here being carried into his office by two ice-girls;
And finally, news has just come in of the winner of the ‘cleanest oven competition’, this years winner is our very own Stacey from the Wunderkinder Kanteen!
Sterling work Stacey and may we all have many a happy and hygienic pannini to come yet!
Oh, almost forgot, as one or two of you already know any stay at the workhouse is celebrated by a statutory tattoo, [as mentioned before, the Dean of Chelsea has USA tattooed the length of his manhood], well here is a pic of local lad and Wunderkinder all rounder Graham being tattooed by our very own in house resident tattoo artist Uncle Pete…
Petes work is exceptional, his hearing is less than adequate however and one ex employee who shall remain nameless for dignities sake got a right fright when [as a keen fisherman] he asked Pete for a pair of Pollocks to be tattooed across his back…….[Pete, i said Pollocks!!!]…… needless to say the individual in question rarely takes his shirt off in public anymore….
Okay so we lost Phil, and yes, it was a blow. To be honest we never thought he’d get out with such a small spoon but we underestimated Phils maternal connection to his beloved Chelsea and he tunneled all the way back. Gotta applaud his resourcefulness and a 10 1/2 mile tunnel excavated beneath the surface of London with only a Victorian sugar spoon is exceptionally resourceful.
So, we filled the gap with the magnificently clever Anna from CSM. Actually Anna is from Namibia [which is near CSM], and we bagged her with the old ‘riding on a beer cooler’ game. The rules are simple, you ride a beer cooler until you either fall off drunk, or get arrested. To be fair Anna was set up right from the off, we just pushed the beer cooler [with Anna on board] all the way from CSM to the Wunderkinder Workhouse in one go. Anna didn’t realise she’d been nabbed until the next day when she woke up [with a hang over] in the Victorian Steel Shop here at WCA. Nicely blagged!
Back in the 1950s we used to steal all of our technical team with the ‘sailing a table across the Thames’ game, similar to the beer cooler game but with a table, an out-board motor and a river [the Thames]. Basically you’d ride the table from one side of the river to the other, on reaching the south bank the table was instantly sawn in half rendering it useless as a means of escape. We got our beloved ‘Prospector Pete‘ this way….. [so now you know Chelsea!].
As you all know, any stay at the Wunderkinder Workhouse is celebrated with the application of a permanent Tattoo, [The Dean of Chelsea has USA tattooed along the length of his manhood]. So in proper Wunderkinder tradition this beautifully executed work is now proudly adorned by Phil and i think you’ll agree, that’s quite a six-pack!
Finally we are putting together a Christmas panto here at the Workhouse. This years theme is multi-cultural-ethno-echoism and we’d like to thank the fashion designers at LCF for the sterling work they have done on the costumes so far.
“Son……. fetch my shootin’ stick as i feel some roadkill comin’ on….”
This has just come to the Wunderkinders attention, its a missing persons report for one of Chelsea College of Arts most excellent technicians Phil. Now here at Wimbledon we take very good care of our technical staff, and in all the years i have been here i believe we have only ever mislaid one [Bad Barry the Worse]. Anyway it transpires that our brothers over in Millbank have, in this instance, managed to mislay one of their finest technical assets, so if we could all keep vigilant, with luck we will find Phil soon.
We hope y’all had a real purdy summer break, we sure did here, and there have been a few changes since you last dropped by.
Top of the list is our new patented workshop over-wear as modeled here by Frank, one of our excellent technical staff……. As you can see Frank is both comfortable and fashionable, in fact he was quite the hit at the summer hoot-a-nanny this year and one first prize in the ‘innovative work wear’ category.
As some of you might have already heard, there is a HUGE eco-building being erected on the now infamous WCA sculpture yard [R.I.P. the yard], we have some material and workman arriving on site and an artists impression of what this state-of-the art 21st century Wunderkinder facility is going to look like, take a peak preview
Check out the eco-worthyness of this project, even the builders are wearing recycled hessian sacks for trousers, hats, jackets and even shoes!
Now Eco that Chelsea!!!!
Next up in terms of summer news is the new Wimbledon Wunderkinder Bus Shelter, situated right outside the college gates, this state of the art covered passenger shelter will protect you from the elements as you wait for either the 46 or 259 bus routes direct to the world famous Mitcham Recycling Plant and the prestigious Wimbledon Dog Track.
Finally we would like to thank all those that turned out for the end of term party, although it was a little muddier than last year we are pretty sure that everyone had a ball, especially those who turned up in this years must have ‘patented work over wear’ as seen at the top of this page [worn by Frank].
Oh, almost forgot, our very own Wunderkinder Chef won second prize in the National Exotic Food Competition with this sterling effort,
Its an Octopus Sausage served on a bed of gherkins and yellow peppers…Quite how Stacey discovered this unusual dish remains a mystery although her summer break in Iceland, [the store not the country], might have contributed to the insightful nature of this rather special Wunderkinder food stuff. Be sure to ask Stacey at the canteen to try it next time you drop by!
Stay tuned for more Wunderkinder news coming straight at you from the heart of the south.
We would like to take this opportunity to welcome our most recent addition to the Wunderkinder family ‘Big’ Steve Meadows. Steve came over from Chelsea where his brand of Victorian discipline has now been fully digitised and made available online to those students and staff wishing to reminisce on days gone by.
Here at Wimbledon we don’t digitise discipline, preferring instead the life affirming lick of a freshly wetted cane. Steve is a master of such practices and as such is a welcome addition to the Wunderkinder family unit.
Steve considering his lunch options [vegetarian naturally].
And below is Steve considering sweetening his tea….
This is Helmut, Helmut is our special ginger micro-pig and has lived in a sock in the bottom of an old filing cabinet since last July. This is Helmuts first winter and fortunately for his little piggy trotters he has managed to find some smart red winter wellies. Just in time for the rainy season hey Helmut!
Wunderkinder Forefathers at rest after a long day establishing things.
I discovered this old photograph of the Wimbledon Wunderkinder Forefathers [circa 1877] in the annals of our old and dusty library. It clearly shows the group resting after what must have been a long and difficult day establishing things, such as the Wimbledon College of Art, the world famous Wimbledon Waffle and of course the once loved [and now disgraced] Wombles of Wimbledon Common who it transpired where a lot more common than we were all initially led to believe. Anyway I think you’ll agree that these intrepid gentlemen portray the very essence of the Wunderkinders Pioneering spirit.